Older Diaries:
Diary For 13th November '02 to 21st November '02
The Studio Diary For 'Mr. Kurtz...He Dead'
Current Diary!
Oh hell, flying back from Spain old Easyjet decided to drop my trusty tourbag off the plane. One month later I'm still searching for things it contained. Bastard! not just things like razor(I do shave you know) and toothbrush but also my scribbling-book with lyrics for the next album and my tour-diary.
Our manager said he was sure that a Spanish policedog probably went mad smelling it and devoured the whole thing. Jorrido perro contento(fucked but happy).
That makes more sense then my theory of it dropping off the plane. I'm blaming Stalios for it all.
So now I'm having to rely on my naked memory.
Where was our last gig again...did we rehearse...do I play guitar .....am I in a band....Oh dear that ain't gonna work.
I know we played Brighton, Ebbw Vale, Nottingham, Hitchin etc. in Nov. cos that's still on the Website innit.
Who did I speak to what was it like? Ok. slow down and concentrate.
26 Nov. Brighton, Pressure Point was organized by Gazz and Ian and was pretty mad. Dan and Tom from the Hurt Process were there and slipped me their cd. It was good to see their greasy faces again and smoke their cigarettes. It's a wicked cd out on Plastic Head, check 'em out if you can. I played it in the Winnebago non stop to make that iffy sound in the back go away.
Guess what, it worked!
Brighton is cold tonight and we're having a rather dodgy Chinese which makes the dead come alive. Maxx came down from London on the bike and he's frozen stiff. Gary"the diseased one" did the soundcheck for him.
-Extra chili on top sir?
-Guhrghus
That's a yes, Jon answers for him.
Our Jon had the genius idea of buying a bottle of Tamova lemon vodka(6.99 at Aldi, wicked).
"It's the closest to drinking Cologne" the Maxximus says as he emerges from his dreamstate.
For cleansing purposes we should all bathe in Tamova after the tour. Playing barefoot is one thing but cleaning your feet afterwards is a work of art. We need a couple of large Swedish girls to give us alternative therapies and bite the dirt off.
Though now me mum's loofa finally serves a purpose.
Before we go on stage we all have a quick swig of Tamova the Russian balletdancer, she's cruel with a great finish. We're alowed to play for an hour and include "Spartacus" and "Slagfreak" in the set. Sex and aggresion, we're flying!
After the show have various discussions about why the Beaujolais nouveau is so shit this year and how we could have prevented Earthtone9 from splitting up(we're good at that). The night ends in the Gloucester where we all go wild airguitaring to big hair eighties metal(we're even better at that).
30th Nov. Hitchin Club'85 Oooooooh it's Saturday, breakfast in the pub.
Hartlepool, The Studio yesterday with the infamous Junk DNA from Salisbury. We met them on the way up there in a servicestation on the M1. Praise the Lord and Mobile phones.
The giant that is Ben Potts, one half of the DNA vocal twin is already beyond the point of being able to spell his own name when we meet. The heater in their van ain't working so he found consolation elsewhere.
Service stations are great to have a shower in since most venues we play don't do showers.
It's great seeing the DNA-guys again and we decide to "slowly" start a bit of a sesh but unfortunately "slowly" doesn't come into the equation tonight.
We had been doing a gig in Nottingham three hours before and had been driving for an hour or so, we were fairly shagged at that point. But the sky is clear and our minds are opening. Paul DNA and me are arguing whether the bong should have some Tamova Kentucky sunrise(Lidl 8.99) in it. We decide to use a whole new system which has slipped my mind so it worked. The next arguments are mainly about constellations and how the word captain can damage the image of every product. Captain Broccoli, Captain Bratwürst etc.
The sky is beautiful. This all on the M1, there should be warnings on these things.
Needles to say Hartlepool was a complete stormer. Junk DNA are whipping our asses and making sure that we better be good tonight. No mercy, they rocked.
We're all adrenelised up to the eyeballs by their show and go hell for leather. One of the great things of touring is that we become the well oiled machine of aggresion that can turn everything upside down and ram it down the throats of the innocents.
That gig felt góóód.
We meet up with loads of folk afterwards and the only name I remember is "the dudes".
We drive back in through the misty North and fall asleep somewhere near Watford Gap, last I remember.
So now it's breakfast at 3pm in Hitchin I can't recall the name of the pub but it was something in the vein of the "Angel's den". Food on tour has a whole different meaning than food elsewhere(ask Bob Geldof). In Germany our anthem was FOOD BLOODY FOOD GIVE US FOOD (Sepultura wrote that).
It's a good a breakfast. "Ale and bread" the saviour of rock and roll. Time for the load-in and soundcheck. Outside the venue we meet Rockin' Rich from "Musiczombie" who's giving us a hand with the load-in and does the website, what a man.
Everything goes smooth and we're meeting lots of old friends before the show starts. Skagbunny are supporting and the rather awesome Sandface, good shit. Great night, for the first time ever the audience forces us to do an encore.
We never do encore 'cos we just hit your stage with everything we've got and go full on start to finish that's it, bang bang bang.
And tonight the bastards just don't wanna go. We played all the songs we have been playing on the tour. Played for an hour and ten minutes. No more. That's it. Gimme beer. No, we fall for it and do an encore...........................encores are for gays.
Well traditions and rules are there to be broken. We did "Speak in tongues" which we hadn't played for more that a year and all falls in to place. Thank you Hitchin that was wild.
We'll see you there again on the 21st of March. Be there! Bitch.
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